Today I am grateful for:

Not waking up too much when my Sweetie got up earlier than I.

He and the nephew went to help our friends who are STILL emptying out their parent's house. It sounds like after today, they are at least down to the nitty gritty.

It's a good use of the nephew.

Then they came home and I got up, and we went to the city.

We kind of did our normal day; the nephew didn't seem to care one way or the other what we did for the day, so we did our usual.

We went to the art gallery, and at first he was just on his phone (he's pretty much on his phone most of the time, or asleep), but he did start to actually look at the art and even engage with it a bit.

We saw our art gallery friend, who works there in the rent/buy sales area, and he's doing well. He moved in with his partner, and they got a new kitten to go with their existing cat.

Then we went to a "here there be fairies" kind of store, I was interested to see what they had; standard fare. I did find a cat based tarot deck (Grimalkin's).

We stopped at the fancy knife store to get ours sharpened, and I started looking at smaller paring knives. I was interested in one, but my husband declared the handle to be too skinny, and I wanted to look at others that were similar, but the sales person stepped in and took me to knives that looked nothing like the one I had shown interest in...between my husband talking me out of what I wanted and the sales person being dense, I got frustrated and said "fuck it, I guess no one wants me to buy a knife".

I told my husband once we were outside how it made me feel that he more or less made me feel like I had to ask his PERMISSION to buy a knife that I liked, and this is not the first time I have tried to buy one there. He does this every time.

I think next time, I will go into that store by myself, and tell the damn sales people who actually seemed to not listen to anything I was asking for to just let ME pick out a knife on my own, thank you.

I was so angry at both my husband and the clerk for making me feel like I was not allowed to just buy what I WANTED TO BUY, not what they thought I should buy.

The nephew was off on his own at this point, but met up with us for food.

Then we went to the main drag to eat at one of the few vegan places left. One of our other ones recently closed, and there are only a few left in the city now. Today's food was a bit disappointing there, too. I got a vegan donair, and usually it is plump and tightly wrapped, but today it was not that full and almost left as an open sandwich. The Brussels sprouts are usually halved and fried, but today it was almost like someone had completely taken them apart and fried them, so it was like I got maybe two or three sprouts at the most, fried as individual leaves like corn flakes, keeping in mind that I paid extra for these as a side dish.

I imagine they got a new chef, but if this is the fare going forward...sigh.

Then we went to a book store, and I found some DVDs, but once again my husband tried to push me around by assuming that I was done looking around because HE was done, so I looked right at him and said "I AM NOT READY TO LEAVE, I AM STILL LOOKING".

So I went and took my SWEET FUCKING TIME looking at books.

We went home after that, let everyone out, and came inside.

The nephew went straight to bed because he didn't get his 14 hours last night.

I tried to talk to my husband about his cousin who is supposed to be in the area on vacation from August 11 to the 18th. I have no idea what she and her husband and two kids want to do while they are here. They are staying at someone else's place, and yes it makes perfect sense for us to try to spend time with them, but what are they hoping to do?

My husband went immediately into defense mode, saying that I was being crusty about her visit.

I was like "well, since your nephew was only supposed to be here for three days, and that turned into ten days, and I've had to have him in our house the whole time, and none of that was planned because we just LET IT HAPPEN, maybe we do need to actually try to have some boundaries with your cousin and her family, and have some kind of idea what to expect with them."

He has no idea. He doesn't know if we're going to meet in the city for a day, or if they want to come out to our place for a day, he doesn't know if they are going to expect to be fed here, or ANYTHING.

I told him it would have to be on a day where I am not going to the barn, and that if it was, he could visit them on his own. I have literally not seen this person since she was a child about twenty years ago, and I wouldn't recognize her if I saw her on the street.

It's wonderful that she wants to meet up with us, but it's also 100% fair that I have some idea of what the expectations might be.

Anyhow, I hope he talks to her and figures something out, it's not MY JOB, and if they expect to come out here with zero notice and expect supper, that's my husband's problem too.

So, as you can tell, I am reaching the end of my ability to "be nice" right now. I feel like for weeks and weeks, my husband has just dumped one inconvenience after another on me, and he's SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, but sorry's not good enough. I'm done making everything work for him when he just dumps more stuff on me.

He's taken THREE WEEKS of vacation time this spring/summer. One trip to see his parents in April, two trips for MS bike rides, and another trip to this wedding, and each time I've stayed home to keep things running. I know he's hoping to visit his family again later this summer.

He keeps saying how he has NO TIME OFF this year to do anything at home or spend time with me, but he has lots of time for everyone else.

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

Once again, the nephew slept for over twelve hours. Good grief.

I did talk with Trainwreck. She talked about how Sister S is not getting physiotherapy yet, a concern of mine also. If S doesn't get help, there's a good chance she won't be walking safely. Then Trainwreck mentions how sore her back and hips have been, and I say that physio might be able to help HER, and she replies with "nah, I'm managing just fine".

I know it's kind of a cliche that I'm all for physio after only two visits, but really...it's pretty non-invasive, and if I can strengthen my back so that I'm not in pain all the time, or in and out of pain in various parts of my lower body...why NOT?

I went outside to do the usual chores, and it was fairly cool again today, around 18 C. It was COLD the last couple of nights.

The nephew came outside too, and got started on removing more trees that he and my husband had talked about. I showed him a dead tree in a different part of the yard that needed to come down.

I mowed for about an hour, focusing on the one area of the yard over the septic field that grows twice as fast as everything else.

Then I cut down a lot of branches from the lilacs that hang down and make it impossible to mow there. Then I cut some branches down from a willow that do the same thing.

At that point I had to go to the barn for our lesson. The nephew stayed to keep removing trees.

River was good today, no sign of lameness. He also does better generally on cooler days like today.

We had a good lesson, focusing on a slightly different way to do Liberty circles that is more subtle, and on how my left leg sits on the horse and how I use it when riding, since I have a tendency to pull it too far back when I'm asking for a turn or anything. It's mechanics thing, and likely comes from me twisting my pelvis, so we're working on that.

I came home, and while I was at the lesson, my Sweetie and the nephew took two loads of branches to the dump.

I did dishes, then went outside to make sure that they were leaving things as tidy as possible out there.

My husband would have left bits of branches and logs all over the place, but I am aware of this tendency.

He WAS going to take the tree trunks to the dump, and I said "why would you do that when we now have a wood stove". I got him to pile them neatly out of my way, and they can be cut properly, and used not this winter, but next winter when it's dry.

Then I made sure that all the debris, the smaller broken bits of branches and chunks of tree got raked up and put on the trailer with the remaining branches that will go the dump in the next trip.

Then I got them to round up all the tools and such that I know they left all over the yard. The water bottles that they had a few days ago when they were burning old hay that somehow never got back to the house. The ear protection that was left sitting out. PUT EVERYTHING BACK WHERE IT BELONGS!!!!

All of this made me feel like I was their Mom or something. This is two grown, adult men, and I felt like I was making sure they had their mittens.

Sad.

Then we went inside to make supper, which my Sweetie did tonight (I had washed the dishes when I got home from the barn).

We ate, and talked for a bit, and then the nephew went back downstairs, I guess so he can get started on sleeping for another 12 to 14 hours. Gotta start early if you're going to fit that in.

Today I am grateful for:

Good sleep.

That my husband's nephew is pretty easy going. I am not the kind of person to cater to guests, which is likely why we don't often have guests. He seems to accept our eccentricities and just roll with them.

Today at least was not crazy busy.

I did usual chores and such, and in the afternoon went to town for groceries and my physiotherapy appointment.

I have more or less let go of going to pottery for now, as sometimes happens in the summer, but this stretch has been unprecedented.

Every time I turn around, something else has to happen on Monday, and it because pottery class is no longer "any time on Monday" but a narrower window of time, I'm not making it to that time slot.

I don't know how I can get it back either, because now it seems like my catch-all day, and even my husband starts putting more things onto me on Monday, because I'm not going to pottery.

This has to stop, or I won't be doing pottery any more. I have to put my foot down and take it back.

Today I was hosting his nephew, an adult, who more or less just showed up unannounced. I didn't really "show him the town", but he came with me to town, and I dropped him off downtown to have a look around while I went to physio.

Physio went well, I made enough progress with the exercises that I got to move on the next harder level. I haven't felt much pain the last three weeks, which is great, but I can still tell that the group of muscles causing issues is tight, and the therapist concurred. I guess the idea is to strengthen a larger group of muscles and balance things so that the one area can relax.

I did go to Winner's, and then I picked up the nephew. We went for a walk around the small lake in town, and that was nice.

It's been cool today, and ever so slightly rainy. It's supposed to get down to 9 C tonight, which is quite chilly for this time of year.

Then we got groceries together, and I bought a fair amount since even though we have a guest, I will still only want to get food once this week. The fridge is full though, partly because my Sweetie brought home a ton of cherries from B.C., and there was a container of watermelon in there, and some other things that will be gone soon. Probably in two days there will be lots of room.

R posted a great video she put together of our barn celebration, and I thought that was very nice of her to do so. It was a lot of fun.

When we got home, my Sweetie had already let everyone into their pastures, and he took the nephew out to look at some trees that need to come down for a shed project, and I guess the nephew is supposed to do this for us? I did say to my husband that he could be doing some work while he's here, since he's apparently staying for a while.

So there's that; the "short visit" that was supposed to just be a couple of nights until he caught a ride with a friend has now turned into "maybe leaving in a week or so".

I'm getting upset with my husband at this, because this has happened before with his family visiting. Who just shows up with no firm plan for how they're getting home and when they're leaving? His parents were supposed to stay for a week when we were emptying our trailer, and somehow that turned into two weeks without my permission. He wouldn't talk to them about leaving with a firm date.

This nephew is apparently not working right now, and I guess he's been living with his parents, so he's looking at our place as what..somewhere to crash and take the heat off of him for a while? It's weird.

He's had other relatives do this too. Just come for a visit...but if you don't have a firm day for leaving, all that happens is that I get fed up and tell my husband I've had enough, and he has to man up and ask them when they're leaving...why do people not know that you shouldn't do that to people?

I can't even get any time alone with my husband to talk about this, because his nephew is sitting right there, and then when my husband goes to bed at 8 or 9 pm, well, he's ready for bed, not for talking.

So, I think it's time to have a talk with everyone about a firm deadline, because this isn't fair. I'm not a hostel.

Anyhow, we got all the groceries in, I dove straight in to making supper, and we did eat together and my husband played some cribbage with his nephew.