on grieving people you never met

Yesterday I was desperately looking for a piece of fanart that I really wanted to show my friend, but I couldn't find it no matter how hard I looked. The artist had a lot of their stuff deleted from the internet and I doubt they'll reupload. The last time they posted was to let their followers know they were struggling really hard with their disability and would likely pass away soon, as they can't afford the treatment they need. It was... a really awful announcement to see. Looking for that piece of fanart lead me to seeing some of their other works, and I found myself feeling so sad. I never knew this person personally but I used to look forward to seeing their art and it brought me some really genuine joy. I really wanted to commission them, but they've already shut down all avenues to support them. It just... kind of hurts.

Feeling frustrated

I've been trying to do more work into scripting my youtube video but I'm just not very good at it. I've rewritten over and over again and it just doesn't look right to me.