that good old fashioned razzmatazz

today was very unproductive, but i did talk to my psychiatrist and she's upping my sleep meds which i think is gonna help.

i'm trying to get into lucid dreaming again. i've always been obsessed with the idea ever since i was a kid, and i've had lucid dreams here and there, but nothing too interesting for the most part. but i've always wanted to become more dedicated about it and actually learn to control it. hopefully this time i actually stick with it, since it is a big goal for me!

last night i had a dream about lucid dreaming. not a lucid dream though. i was either learning about it or talking about it to someone. i cant remember very well. what an ironic dream to have though. at the very least, i think it shows lucid dreaming is on my mind, which means i'm on the right track.

 i'm typing this out from my phone. its super cold lately, and i believe i'm going to get sick from it. my throat already feels super sore... ugh.

i had a strange dream last night. i was in middle school again (i dream about middle school a lot, likely because it was such an awful period of my life) and i don't remember much of what happened, but i do remember feeling lonely and out of place. that checks out.

but then the dream got sort of creepy? i remember i was buying some food and the store lady was acting super creepy. i got this feeling that something was wrong. i woke up shortly after.