that good old fashioned razzmatazz

I have finally finished the entirety of steven universe, the movie and future included. I really liked it, and I'm happy I revisited it, but more than the show itself I want to talk about Jasper because she's my favorite character. And I just really want to dissect her.

Jasper was made for the purpose of fighting. She came into the world in the middle of a war, with the explicit purpose of being a part of said war. In a lot of ways, Jasper has known violence all her life. She hates the place she's from, and to an extent I believe it embarrasses her to think of her origins. But at the same time she's revered for what she is. This creates a really interesting situation where she's arrogant and looks down on others due to her social status, but she also hates aspects of herself.

Jasper is one of the most fiercely devoted characters. Her diamond's death really shook her, more so than I think it might have affected other gems, though in general I'm assuming most under pink diamond's leadership hurt deeply after her death. It's important to remember that gems view their diamonds as not just leaders, but as sort of divine beings who they revolved their lives around. Jasper specifically is obsessed with the concept of purpose and with her ideas of authority and power hierarchy. She needs everything in her life to be organized under this power structures, because it's the only thing she has ever known and it's the only thing that makes sense to her. It's what her entire world view revolves around.

Jasper is very hypocritical. She has a seemingly rigid world view, but is willing to go against it in pursue of her goals. She looks down on fusions, but when she sees no other way she decides to fuse with someone else, for example.

This leads into another interesting aspect of Jasper's character: her relationship to the concept of fusion. Malachite was a painful and traumatizing experience, but Jasper became addicted to it. She really respects those she views as strong, and because of the violence Lapis inflicted upon her, she comes to value her in a really weird way. Jasper believes violence is a sign of strength, so the fact that Lapis takes out her anger on her doesn't read to her as a red flag, but just how the world works. It fits into her ideas of power structures.

She becomes addicted to the feeling of being strong with Lapis, even despite the pain it brings her. Jasper is obsessed with being the best, but if she can no longer be that, then she thinks she should be with someone who can make her feel like that. Jasper feels like she has fundamentally failed. She was beaten and then forced into a fusion, and now she feels like she's no good in her own anymore. She needs someone else to make up for her inherent flaws.

Lapis rejects her, because she has come to realize their relationship is deeply unhealthy. And so Jasper just turns to fusing with corrupted gems. In a way I think this is also a part of seeking companionship, even though she doesn't realize it. Eventually, all of this trauma and pain, and this cycle of self destructive behavior, leads to her mind breaking and corrupting. She feels like she's at her lowest, like she's worthless and pathetic, and she refuses help. Getting help implies admitting to weakness, but more than that Jasper believes suffering is a direct consequence of someone's general self worth. Because she views herself as broken, she welcomes the horrible things that happen to her, because she believes she deserves them.

After she's healed, she still refuses help. She's stuck in the past, and is indulging in her own violent tendencies. She's still unable to even consider that there may be other ways. She forms an unhealthy relationship with Steven that involves both of them indulging in their destructive behaviors. Jasper hurts him, and she wishes to be hurt back. Truly she's just incapable of forming healthy relationships, because her thoughts about violence are always at the forefront.

And then when Steven shatters her, the most horrible thing he could do to her, she doesn't fear him. Instead she turns to worship him. It's like what her life used to be like, and she craves that kind of authority figure that she can give her everything for. She views Steven as better than her, so it only makes sense to her to follow him now.

In short, I think Jasper is in an interesting position where she started holding a somewhat high social status and was obsessed with being this standard of perfection, but could also never fully believe in her own self worth, because she believed there was something inherently wrong with her because of where she was from. After she finds herself in more and more traumatic situations, this idea that there is something wrong with her is only reinforced in her head. Additionally, Jasper can only react to things with violence. She has normalized the idea of hurting others and being hurt by them in exchange. That is just a normal part of how relationships work in her eyes. She craves pain, in a way. She may act arrogant, but she really hates herself, because of where she was made and because of the ways she thinks she has failed. From her perspective, anyone who fails at their purpose is broken and worthless. Therefore she is broken and worthless.

There's a lot more that can be said, but I'll leave it here.

i finished my steven universe rewatch. well, i still have to watch the movie and future, but i'm done with the main show. what a ride! i think it had its issues but for the most part, it was such a wonderful experience and i am so happy i decided to revisit it. this world and its characters will forever hold a special place in my heart.

So I was watching a video responding to Lily Orchard's god awful Steven Universe criticism and they talked quite a bit about Lapis's character arc. I haven't watched Steven Universe in a few years (although I do want to revisit it at some point) but I do have a few thoughts about this.

I think Lapis is a really complicated character and I honestly have weird feelings about how she's written. There's some debate about who is the abuser in her situation with Jasper and I think the topic is approached with very little nuance.

Jasper imprisoned Lapis, something which was incredibly traumatic for her, and in retaliation Lapis chose to imprison Jasper back. It's a situation where Lapis chooses to hurt someone back as a way to process her trauma, and in doing so traumatizes the other person.

You can make the argument that she was also doing so to protect Steven, but this falls flat for me because Lapis is one of the more powerful gems in the show. She was right next to the ocean and could have easily fought Jasper without breaking a sweat, so acting like imprisoning her was about anything else but getting control back and retaliating against someone who she was hurt by doesn't make sense to me.

Ultimately, when they get separated, Lapis does realize that they are bad for each other. Jasper gets high on the power she feels when fused with Lapis, even at the cost of her freedom. Meanwhile Lapis gets to feel like she's in control of something for once in her life. But this is horrible for the both of them, so when Jasper wants to fuse back, Lapis refuses, and this is the right decision.

Where I get conflicted is where people try to act like Jasper was the more abusive one. She was the one who took advantage of Lapis first, and she was absolutely in the wrong for that, Jasper is a horrible person (and also my favorite gem, because I like my characters to be awful as people <3), however I do think the brutality of being forcefully imprisoned is another level of abuse to me, and she was not in control of that situation for months.

Yes, she was the one who wanted to fuse again, but she was also addicted to a toxic relationship she very much didn't initate, and while she is in the wrong and Lapis made the right choice in rejecting her, it's also Lapis's fault that Jasper is so traumatized. So no, I don't think Jasper is more abusive or the sole abuser in that situation. 

Outside of that, I don't like how Lapis's relationship with Peridot is written. Specifically, making decisions for Peridot, then taking their home away, and then coming back and not even apologizing is... troubling. There was also that whole thing about stalking Steven, I think? 

And this is all brushed off super easily? It's not like I expect them to punish her, an already traumatized person, but I do wish the things she did wrong were more explored and dealt with. I think at the very least Peridot should have been allowed to be more upset over how she was treated.