that good old fashioned razzmatazz

the recent shufflemancy session i did left me with lots of thoughts about my ex best friend. i was left with this odd feeling that he would try to reach out, that i needed to stay alert in case he tried to reach out. i had a sense maybe he would try to talk to me again and i shouldn't allow that to happen.

i went to bed and had a dream about him about the same thing: him forcing his way into my life. i once again got this odd feeling that he would try to approach me. whatever. just a dream.

just now he sent me a discord friend request? this is a really weird coincidence. im not gonna say it's anything other than that. but it's weird.

anyway, spiritual musings that i don't take particularly seriously aside, this distresses me. i think if i accept thats going to inevitably end poorly. i dont like him. i dont want him in my life. the things hes said about me have made me realize he is not a good person to have in my life. but i feel guilty by declining. what if he needs help? what if i can do something? i feel so conflicted. i know it's not my responsibility. but i feel bad not responding... i know this is not a good idea but. im accepting. i need to be sure everything is ok if nothing else.