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i havent been posting much here because i have been feeling pretty bad. its gotten slightly better but im still super depressed and my anxiety still needs some work. im having lots of existential intrusive thoughts, and while i have gotten better at ignoring them, the doubts behind them do cause me a lot of discomfort and i havent yet found a way to really approach them or find peace with them, and i do not think i will have truly moved on until i have reached that peace.
i feel lonely, on top of it. breaking up with my best friend has been really hard for me. i feel like i have no one to talk about these days. like, i have my other friends, but it just genuinely isnt the same. he was recently reblogging stuff from one of my friend's tumblr and i felt really uncomfortable about it, because he was really obsessed with me and had some homicidal fantasies about me after the break up, so it just feels creepy for him to be in any way interacting with my friends. another friend told me that she doesnt think its inherently creepy and i honestly felt really upset by that but i didnt want to argue. i dont care what anyone says. he should not be engaging with my friends in any way and i do not trust his reasons for doing so.
i want someone to fill the void of his absence, but right now i just feel so alone.
so anyway, sorry for the lack of updates, i just want to post here more once i have something more positive to say.
i feel lonely, on top of it. breaking up with my best friend has been really hard for me. i feel like i have no one to talk about these days. like, i have my other friends, but it just genuinely isnt the same. he was recently reblogging stuff from one of my friend's tumblr and i felt really uncomfortable about it, because he was really obsessed with me and had some homicidal fantasies about me after the break up, so it just feels creepy for him to be in any way interacting with my friends. another friend told me that she doesnt think its inherently creepy and i honestly felt really upset by that but i didnt want to argue. i dont care what anyone says. he should not be engaging with my friends in any way and i do not trust his reasons for doing so.
i want someone to fill the void of his absence, but right now i just feel so alone.
so anyway, sorry for the lack of updates, i just want to post here more once i have something more positive to say.
