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Mar. 2nd, 2024 03:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leejooheon So today I'm having some messy, complicated thoughts. Tw for mentions of pedophilia.
One youtuber I've been following for a while now is in an age gap relationship. Which is not an issue because she is an adult woman and from the glimpses I've seen of their relationship, she seems genuinely happy. Recently she made a video talking about the uncomfortable, dimissive comments she dealt with for being with an older man and how people would often accuse her husband of being horrible things for merely being in a relationship with her.
I am not against age gap relationships between consenting adults by any means. However something she said has been on my mind, and not in a good way. I don't remember how exactly she worded this, but she basically said that maturity and power imbalance can't be measured in the clear cut way people want it to be. And I agree with this, but it left me thinking.
If maturity is a flexible thing then, why do we draw the line at minors instead of treating it as a case by case thing? My concern is that this idea, which is reasonable, may be used to prey on underage people. In fact I've seen predators say similar things, which is what bothers me.
And here is my concern. I want to be supportive of adults in age gap relationships, because I think it gets demonized too harshly and the younger person is often grossly infatilized. But I'm not sure how to do that in a way that predators don't also benefit from.
It causes me great anxiety to think about. Possibly due to my own history of trauma but whatever.
One youtuber I've been following for a while now is in an age gap relationship. Which is not an issue because she is an adult woman and from the glimpses I've seen of their relationship, she seems genuinely happy. Recently she made a video talking about the uncomfortable, dimissive comments she dealt with for being with an older man and how people would often accuse her husband of being horrible things for merely being in a relationship with her.
I am not against age gap relationships between consenting adults by any means. However something she said has been on my mind, and not in a good way. I don't remember how exactly she worded this, but she basically said that maturity and power imbalance can't be measured in the clear cut way people want it to be. And I agree with this, but it left me thinking.
If maturity is a flexible thing then, why do we draw the line at minors instead of treating it as a case by case thing? My concern is that this idea, which is reasonable, may be used to prey on underage people. In fact I've seen predators say similar things, which is what bothers me.
And here is my concern. I want to be supportive of adults in age gap relationships, because I think it gets demonized too harshly and the younger person is often grossly infatilized. But I'm not sure how to do that in a way that predators don't also benefit from.
It causes me great anxiety to think about. Possibly due to my own history of trauma but whatever.
