copypasted from my tumblr

[leejooheon]

 my experiences with disability have always felt kind of alienating. like abled people obviously dont get it or relate to it, but i often feel like i cant really relate to other disabled people either because i havent "suffered" enough. and i think defining disability by how much a person suffers is ridiculous, and i wouldnt hold others to that standard, but i do often think to myself. if my disability doesnt affect my ability to navigate my life in major ways, can i even call myself disabled? like my mobilty is absolutely impaired in very obvious ways, but its not to the point where i cant often find solutions to it. and idk it feels kind of lonely because i feel like if i talked about what being disabled was like for me other disabled people wouldnt take me seriously. but being disabled is a huge part of who i am, i struggled a lot as a child because of it because i felt kind of otherized, and it majorly influenced my anxiety disorder in my early teen years. and although i can navigate the world around me, i do need to take considerations abled people dont need to, and people often immediately notice im disabled just by seeing how i move. so it impacts my life, but i dont think it impacts it enough to matter? idk

 

i think part of the feeling comes from sometimes seeing other disabled people say things like "all disabled people go through x" when its something i havent experienced. i cant think of any examples, but ive definitely seen things like that, and they make me feel weird.

and like, at the end of the day, i would never police other disabled people and how they talk about what happens to them, and i think discussing common disabled experiences is really important. but i do sometimes wish people had an understanding that there arent rlly universal disabled experiences, because not all disabilities are the same or are perceived the same. like im treated much differently than someone who is deaf, for example.

Comments

[profiterole_reads]

You don't have to relate to all disabled people on the same level. There are some with disabilities close to yours, that you'll relate more to, and others with disabilities that are quite different, that you'll relate less to.

[leejooheon]

that's true. i guess it's easy to forget sometimes though.

[profiterole_reads]

Also, about people saying statements with "all", a good rule to feel better is to replace it with "most". People tend to generalise their own experience.

[leejooheon]

That's a good point, yeah.