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i feel like i should write out an actual life update.
-soooo my parents nearly got divorced but then that went nowhere so that was awkward.
-ocd has been making my life hell. discussing it in therapy has made me feel like it is mostly triggered by a feeling isolated. but since there isn't too much i can do that to fix that until january, i've created a personal plan to cope with the ocd symptoms. hopefully it works? we'll see.
-my ex best friend and i got in contact again and pretty explicitly agreed to not talk to each other anymore, however we agreed that he needed to transfer ownership of a discord server we used to have together (it was just us, it was an archive for personal stuff). so ive been waiting on him to take screenshots of everything he needs in there. he was taking an insanely long amount of time, so i messaged him asking what happened with all that. he responded with an insanely long explanation of why he has been busy, including details about his recent break up (which btw. not shocked that didn't last) but more importantly, he offhandedly mentions he tried to kill himself. i find it so inappropriate that he's unloading all this on me when we both agreed we are NOT friends anymore, and i really do not want to know his life details anymore. but i did find my reaction interesting. if he had said to me that he tried to kill himself when we just stopped talking, i would have spiraled. it used to scare me. but now, as cruel as it sounds, i'm really like... this is not my problem anymore lol. i still have fond memories of him but i feel like a lot of my sympathy has been exhausted. yeah, kinda sucks he turned out this way, if things had been different he would maybe be a nice person, but you aren't, and i don't concern myself with what ifs. and at this point, that's just what he is. the version of him that could have been doesn't exist. so all that's left is a person that can't be reasoned with, someone with an affinity for cruelty, with repulsive views on the world. noooot my problem anymore.
anyway, lets see how the ocd stuff goes in the next few days.
-soooo my parents nearly got divorced but then that went nowhere so that was awkward.
-ocd has been making my life hell. discussing it in therapy has made me feel like it is mostly triggered by a feeling isolated. but since there isn't too much i can do that to fix that until january, i've created a personal plan to cope with the ocd symptoms. hopefully it works? we'll see.
-my ex best friend and i got in contact again and pretty explicitly agreed to not talk to each other anymore, however we agreed that he needed to transfer ownership of a discord server we used to have together (it was just us, it was an archive for personal stuff). so ive been waiting on him to take screenshots of everything he needs in there. he was taking an insanely long amount of time, so i messaged him asking what happened with all that. he responded with an insanely long explanation of why he has been busy, including details about his recent break up (which btw. not shocked that didn't last) but more importantly, he offhandedly mentions he tried to kill himself. i find it so inappropriate that he's unloading all this on me when we both agreed we are NOT friends anymore, and i really do not want to know his life details anymore. but i did find my reaction interesting. if he had said to me that he tried to kill himself when we just stopped talking, i would have spiraled. it used to scare me. but now, as cruel as it sounds, i'm really like... this is not my problem anymore lol. i still have fond memories of him but i feel like a lot of my sympathy has been exhausted. yeah, kinda sucks he turned out this way, if things had been different he would maybe be a nice person, but you aren't, and i don't concern myself with what ifs. and at this point, that's just what he is. the version of him that could have been doesn't exist. so all that's left is a person that can't be reasoned with, someone with an affinity for cruelty, with repulsive views on the world. noooot my problem anymore.
anyway, lets see how the ocd stuff goes in the next few days.
