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I'm so bad at selfshipping. I keep trying to read self insert fanfiction, but it feels... awkward.
My latest kpop boy obsession (Joohoney) has me sooo infatuated. I could talk about him for hours, and maybe some day I'll talk more about him and my affection for him. But all you need to know for now is that I'm very attracted to him, and I'm bad at coming up with scenarios on my own, so I've tried fanfiction and it just doesn't click. It's a lot of things, I think. Self insert fantasy are in general hard for me to get into. The immersion is just not there, and it's so hard to read this stuff without going "I would not fucking say that."
But then there's how my queerness affects my attraction to him, and how most fanfics can't possibly capture that feeling. I'm not romantically interested in men and, as pretty as he is, Jooheon isn't an exception.
But it's also not purely sexual attraction either. I'm incredibly emotionally attached to him, just in a very weird specific way. I want him to be my friend, but also fuck me, and I want to kiss and cuddle him, but without any sort of commitment. I want him to be my boyfriend, but the kind of boyfriend you have a passionate and life changing relationship with and then break up with once you're bored. I want to be his best friend, more than anything. His fuck buddy, maybe. I want to be his boyfriend and him my girlfriend. I want him to be my queerplatonic partner. I sound unhinged, I think.
My latest kpop boy obsession (Joohoney) has me sooo infatuated. I could talk about him for hours, and maybe some day I'll talk more about him and my affection for him. But all you need to know for now is that I'm very attracted to him, and I'm bad at coming up with scenarios on my own, so I've tried fanfiction and it just doesn't click. It's a lot of things, I think. Self insert fantasy are in general hard for me to get into. The immersion is just not there, and it's so hard to read this stuff without going "I would not fucking say that."
But then there's how my queerness affects my attraction to him, and how most fanfics can't possibly capture that feeling. I'm not romantically interested in men and, as pretty as he is, Jooheon isn't an exception.
But it's also not purely sexual attraction either. I'm incredibly emotionally attached to him, just in a very weird specific way. I want him to be my friend, but also fuck me, and I want to kiss and cuddle him, but without any sort of commitment. I want him to be my boyfriend, but the kind of boyfriend you have a passionate and life changing relationship with and then break up with once you're bored. I want to be his best friend, more than anything. His fuck buddy, maybe. I want to be his boyfriend and him my girlfriend. I want him to be my queerplatonic partner. I sound unhinged, I think.
