Can't sleep

[leejooheon]

I can't sleep, for some reason. It's 5am and I'm genuinely pretty tired but oh well. I feel weirdly anxious, and I figured this would be a good way to get my thoughts in order. Maybe that'll make me tired.

I'm very anxious about all the stuff I have to do! I will need to sort some school paperwork soon and the thought makes me want to scream. My social anxiety is pretty bad.

Other than that, I feel overwhelmed by all the studying I have to do. I sort of stopped doing anything productive the last few weeks and now I need to pull myself out of that cycle and get my shit together. Again.

I also have some pretty big conversations to have with my sister, I just haven't had any time alone with her so it hasn't worked out. Hopefully soon?

But it's not all bad! I have a little project I'm working on. I want to start a youtube channel and I'm pretty excited about setting that in motion. It would probably be super low quality but who cares, I feel motivated to do something for the first time in a while.

I also very much intend to start teaching myself korean somehow, and I did tell my psychiatrist I would get started on that before my next appointment with her so... I better keep that promise unless I want to embarrass myself. I also told her I would have my sleep schedule fixed by then and I'm doing a horrible job of that. It's alright, I'll get there.

I've been also thinking about all the shows and books I so badly want to get into. It's so hard balancing that giant list of things I want to check out with my pre existing hyperfixations. I swear it was easier when I was younger.

That's it for today. Nothing interesting, just disjointed 5am thoughts.

Comments

[rafiwinters]

Ooh, Korean! Cool! I hope that goes well. I studied a few languages in college (about a million years ago) and have always wanted to learn some more: Irish Gaelic because it is the origin language and culture of a good deal of the material I study for spiritual purposes), and Hungarian, which is extremely difficult, but I want to learn it because it's difficult. Silly me ;). So what's up with you and Korean? Why Korean? Inquiring minds want to know.

[leejooheon]

Oh, that all sounds pretty interesting. I always really enjoy hearing about the languages other people speak or want to learn. Quite a few of my friends are multi lingual in some way so that makes for very fun conversations. As for why I want to learn korean, I guess it's not a terribly interesting story haha. I'm just really into kpop and I've found that there is so much untranslated content, and that can be a little frustrating sometimes. Especially for the more niche groups that don't yet have strong well established fanbases to make translations of their work. My goal is to one day set up a page for song translations, I would love to do that as a hobby.

[rafiwinters]

On the contrary, that is quite an interesting story. I like hearing about languages, too, plus I am all in favor of people doing things pursuing their interests. :-)

I learned French starting in seventh grade and continued through majoring in it in college. I had two years of Russian in college, and then a year of Latin. I learned conversational German for a trip to Berlin, though that was years ago and I don't remember much of it.

[leejooheon]

Wow, those are a lot of languages, that's pretty impressive. I can barely handle the two I currently speak (english and spanish)

[rafiwinters]

I don't remember most of it now. (Sadly.) But I can tell you a fun Latin thing. You know that phrase "Peace on earth, good will towards men"? That's how it's usually translated. Turned out on my final exam, first semester senior year, that it actually works out to "peace on earth towards men of good will."

FWIW.

[leejooheon]

That's interesting! The more you know.

[rafiwinters]

Professor Norton was having fun with us. He knew we'd recognize the phrase right away and be trying so hard to make the grammar work, but of course it didn't. Eventually he told us it had been kind of a trick question, and gave us the real answer. :-)

Another even more tricky trick question came from my calculus professor second semester of senior year. If you have a circular piece of paper and you want to make a cone-shaped cup out of it, how much do you cut out of the paper for maximum volume of the cup? Prof. Wong eventually told us that that was a very hard piece of math (and gave us the answer).

That was also the closest I got to failing a class. I got credit for it, but just barely. It think it was a C-.